And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. I used to think the feeling of your baby kicking inside you and the sight of a foot poking against your skin were the most fantastic things in the world. Baby loss support Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. All pregnant women should be given the booklet by their midwife or GP Screening tests for you and your baby by Public Health England, which gives detailed information about the types of scan offered and what they are looking for. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! 2022. It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. My partner was away working and was waiting to hear whether he was having a son or daughter. Then I picked myself up. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. Public Health England (PHE) created this information on behalf of the NHS. I couldn't really believe what they were saying. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. Just doing it. Fine, go on my own. Another sick joke. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans
Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? This does not mean there is anything to worry about. But that was too easy. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. And so we talked about it euphemistically, never saying the word "research". Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged. Anyway we went in for the meeting with the consultant on this particular time, and we'd got to, I was 30 weeks pregnant by then. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. And how wrong could they be? But he was wrong. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. I want to be nice again. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. No discussion, no quiet contemplation. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . My wife had been very, very healthy, more healthy than the first pregnancy, and of course was shattered by the fact that the news, the news was appalling, very serious faces. Only this time, no cry came. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. What were babys measurements at 20 week scan? I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. Do you have any thoughts about that? Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. Slightly marked from our peers. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. 15/02/2014 08:02. He felt strong and fit and healthy. There was a very marked lack of amniotic fluid which made it difficult, not even for the scanners to see, that made the picture of the scan look very, very different. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. The same rush of excitement. I am a darker, harder version of myself. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. The decision to terminate the pregnancy was my partner's and mine. We talked about the different sorts of pain relief I could have and I opted for a morphine drip, which I could control. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. Again, we weren't understood. See you in -. At this point it wasn't looking great. Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. We went, I went in to the scanning room and they're quite bland facially anyway, whether everything's fine or not they just look at the screen to start off with and do measurements but I very quickly realised that the woman's demeanour wasn't, even for a bland face, was concerning. That was the first time I had heard him cry. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. Never being able to look after himself. And I felt like a murderer. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. But no. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. Tears started to roll down my face. I've realised that being a nice person is a luxury some can't afford. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. They would then re-test me in two days time. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. The results come in stages. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. It was positive, and I felt elated. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. It felt so wrong. So I took the test and jumped in the shower. And at that, I let out a scream I think. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. Sam squeezed my hand and told me it was ok. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. I had to wait for a doctor to explain the situation. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case. So that just left the talipes. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. Abortion has never raised any moral dilemmas for me and I am an atheist, so there are no religious issues. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. He felt doing more blood tests would only cause me more discomfort and false hope. I remained positive, we researched lots of cases of mistaken dates, inconclusive scans, and compared them to our situation; scrutinising everything to try and believe it was all one big misunderstanding. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. We need to have your opinion'. I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. And I went for, I went for a normal 12-week scan, at my local hospital and everything, they said everything was fine, there was no problem. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. It feels very lonely and isolating. As two youngest siblings, we were both permanently stuck in the irresponsible, childish role. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". And still we asked to see a, Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans. All the hopes, dreams, and plans we made with our little bumps has been taken away from us. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. If necessary, you will be referred to a specialist, possibly in another hospital. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. It would have been nice to see someone straight away because I was in such shock. Having the scan does not hurt but the sonographer may need to apply slight pressure to get the best views of your baby. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I want to stop having such horrible thoughts. So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. As soon as we arrived, we were shown to this little room. How was that scan different from the dating scan? And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. 17/12/2020 17:13.
But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. After she had taken all the measurements, the sonographer told us that she was concerned with the length of the baby's limbs in relation to the head. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. The contractions started very quickly and within an hour my waters had broken. Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see '. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. No one else ever met the object of my grief. In a small number of cases some very serious conditions are found. (See 'Resources'). So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. I just feel very unlucky. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. We thought it would all be over very quickly but, in fact, it was another 11 hours before the baby was delivered. And attribute some blame to them. So she said, 'Come back on Monday. Your mind has closed to the possibility that there could be anything wrong. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. Not marginalised into being a victim. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. He looked fine. I wanted to let nature take its course. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. 26/09/2019 22:46. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommys and are not advice from Tommy's. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. But worse was to come. I was willing the results to be normal. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). I felt the dread run through me. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. He told me that they may want to do blood tests, but that 'he didn't see the point'. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan . Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. hi ladies. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. The anomaly scan, also called the 20 week scan or mid-pregnancy scan, is used to detect pregnancy irregularities significant in diagnosis of any of the following conditions: In most instances no serious issue will be found during the scan and many parents-to be will come away knowing that all is progressing nicely and, perhaps, having found out . He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? For example, some babies have a condition called open spina bifida, which affects the spinal cord. On the third day, we got a phone call. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. I was disgusted - disgusted that such a tablet existed, let alone that I should have to take it. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. I was becoming numb to the whole process. I give pregnant women dirty looks. She advised I be referred to the EPU to be assessed. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. It was just sort of deadpan faces, very serious looks, someone else coming to check. Others said they were shocked because all the early diagnostic tests (e.g. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. I was young, I didn't need one. Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. I was then told yet again bad news. I agreed to an internal scan as the sonographer said we could get a better picture of what was happening. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. Where we were living then at the time you only had a scan at 20 weeks. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. This was a ray of hope for us. My partner spent the weekend trying to convince me that things were OK. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. Baby loss stories I tried to keep positive. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. Our baby was beautiful. She describes having to make a . There was cause for concern. This might be uncomfortable.
We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. And it was Christmas Eve and at the time I didn't think, the sonographer did spend a little bit of time scanning us and queried my dates several times and then explained that she couldn't quite see the baby's heart properly and would we come back in a couple of days? And I thought that if I were faced with the possibility of having an amnio, hours of discussion would follow - I would spend days mulling it over. What would we like to do with the body? That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. And they took me into another room. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. We spent the next few weeks in a happy bubble. We didn't name him. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". For once in my life, I had been organised. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. So he went out for a walk. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. The hardest thing I have ever done. The blood test confirmed it was twins. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. She didn't want to see the baby. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. And it's like, I really wanted to see it and I didn't, and it was it was very mixed. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. Purpose of screening. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. I think it's the same - in fact I think it was probably the same room, same consultant - and [sighs] I suppose it felt upsetting because at the dating scan you're full of hope and this scan we knew wasn't going to be good, we knew it was maybe the last time we would see the baby moving around. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. We would terminate the pregnancy.