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Dr. Ramani Durvasula. He . AMENDMENTS. [00:43:39] Jordan Harbinger: This is The Jordan Harbinger Show with our guest Dr. Ramani. Submitting Questions or using the Contact Form: Your name, email address, and question or comment. [00:13:52] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: I wouldn't say seek it out because I think that puts an unfair onus on someone who's ending up in an abusive relationship. [00:47:52] Jordan Harbinger: Oh wow. While other new mothers are just like leaking milk and are crying. and discover candidates outside of LinkedIn, Trusted by 400K users from 76% of Fortune 500 companies, Find anyone, anywherewith ContactOut today. I want to go through some sort of classic traits here. It's a primitive defense and what projection is designed to do is when sort of uncomfortable, unconscious parts of ourselves are getting activated, usually shame-inducing, we ping off. I'm glad I'm not joining you for dinner because this is all you're going to talk about." Lagardre Sports, Founder and Managing Partner at CYCLE personal & work email addresses, as SEVERABILITY; WAIVER. Everyone knows you're dating this person. If other people saw it, it was almost immediate. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. [This is part one of a two-part episode. [00:16:45] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: The bad boy, kind of, or the bad person, bad, whatever, that's one group. It's always somebody else is doing. The right of access: Well provide you with the data we have about you. [00:03:21] Jordan Harbinger: You know, I think that's probably true. We don't have to deal with that ugly, yucky, unconscious stuff. If you download software from the Website, the software, including all files and images contained in or generated by the software, and accompanying data (collectively, Software) are deemed to be licensed to you by Company, for your personal, non-commercial, home use only, unless otherwise agreed, in a writing signed by the Company. But then, they'd find that that assh*liness that they were exerting perhaps in a marriage, now they were pulling that stunt with a friend and their friend would be like, "Slow down, sister. [01:04:39] The reason why I did go undercover is from the outside you can deal with, you know, maybe some low-level members, you're never getting anywhere near the leadership. So they need to be in the midst of people but people like being with them. [00:58:16] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Posting a selfie doesn't make you narcissistic. The story is bananas. WEBSITE CHANGES. All of the deals and discounts and all those codes, they're all in one place. Submitting Questions or using the Contact Form: To answer any comments, questions or communication you have for us. It's the love bombing. So they go from relationship to relationship to relationship. ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE) SHALL WE BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE EXEMPLARY OR ANY OTHER DAMAGES (INCLUDING LOST PROFITS), PERSONAL INJURY (INCLUDING DEATH) OR PROPERTY DAMAGE OF ANY KIND OR NATURE WHATSOEVER THAT ARISE OUT OF OR RESULT FROM THE USE OF OR ANY INABILITY TO USE, THE WEBSITE OR ANY CONTENT OR FUNCTIONS THEREOF; OR ANY ACT OR OMISSION, ONLINE OR OFFLINE, OF ANY USER OF THE WEBSITE OR ANYONE ELSE, EVEN IF WE HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. [00:39:16] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: And when they withdraw, the person's like, "Wait a minute, where's all this fun?" Company reserves the right to terminate your use of the Service and/or the Website. We are the one percent. For other people, it decimated their childhood or it destroyed a marriage. Look at my fast sports scar. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, IN NO EVENT SHALL COMPANY BE LIABLE FOR DAMAGES OF ANY KIND (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, LOST PROFITS, OR LOST DATA, REGARDLESS OF THE FORESEEABILITY OF THOSE DAMAGES) ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH YOUR USE OF THE WEBSITE OR ANY OTHER MATERIALS OR SERVICES PROVIDED TO YOU BY COMPANY. [00:23:31] Jordan Harbinger: You're listening to The Jordan Harbinger Show with our guest, Dr. Ramani. I almost want to believe it myself. There's sort of two schools of thought. That was a scandal that unfolded over a very long time. And then, I was like, "No, it's not really me. You want all the attention, you want the seas to part when you approach, and you know, research has shown, even sort of anecdotal survey research, celebrities are significantly more likely to be narcissistic. via phone at (310) 435-8010. and discover candidates outside of LinkedIn, Trusted by 400K users from 76% of Fortune 500 companies, Find anyone, anywherewith ContactOut today. So people are frustrated. The right to be informed: We are informing you now with this policy. And I think that also fuels some of the confusion. So then, people equate that rollercoaster and that idea of like, "Okay, this is a bad day, but oh my gosh, we're going to work towards another good day." As a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology, Ramani was in tune to why she was overweight, she just needed a new perspective. The difference is now it's more performative and there's platforms for it. [00:29:09] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: It's a huge problem. These are collections of our favorite episodes organized by topic that'll help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on this show topics like persuasion and influence, disinformation and cyber warfare, China, North Korea, scams and conspiracy debunks, crime and cults, and more. LIMITED LIABILITY. [00:08:35] Jordan Harbinger: Is narcissism contagious, the behavior itself? You shall cooperate with us in the defense of any claim including provide us with assistance, without charge, in connection with any such defense, including, without limitation, providing us with such information, documents, records, and reasonable access to you as we deem necessary. . This is going to be miserable. Patients can reach her at 310-435-8010 or can fax her at 323-343-2281. Animals are devoted creatures - especially dogs and yes -" So I have to be honest with you, if I saw someone screaming at his girlfriend in Starbucks, I wouldn't intervene because I'd be afraid I'd get shot. Woodland Hills, California, United States, If you're not automatically redirected, please click here. Yeah. So when a new narcissistic person rolls up, just like those train tracks, you're so used to loud noise out your window, that when there's a new loud noise, when there's a new person behaving like this, you don't say, "Stop, red light, toxic. And it became this huge mess. On this two-part episode, were joined by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, media expert, and author of Dont You Know Who I Am?: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. We promise to only send you awesome stuff. I mean, everything from road rage to domestic violence to stranger, all of it is associated with narcissism. If they leave you, it's actually a lot easier. The therapist will even help you track your goals. And if you don't hit the mark with that, then they are going to get enraged because that's all they need from you. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. [01:05:11] That is the end of part one. 960 Likes, 66 Comments - Dr. Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) on Instagram: "The answer there is a resounding YES. She can be reached at her office (for appointments etc.) These people, is that conscious, you think, or is that subconscious, that level of devious manipulation? So come join us, you'll be in smart company where you belong. Company may make certain software available to you from the Website. Websites like ours must have a legal basis for collecting information from individuals located in the European Union. [00:06:42] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: That's because adolescents are narcissistic. I think they're not even thinking of it as supply. And if you want us to answer your questions on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Dr. Ramani Durvasula (better-known as Dr. Ramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and a professor of psychology at California State University in Los Angeles. A person's in combat. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, PhD Bio Sharecare Expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula is Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles (CSULA) and a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the author of You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life. It's a very honest apology. Instead, what's happened is the whole world has become a giant pacifier. When you think of it, think of a narcissist as having a core, like in the middle of like the trunk of a tree. Before investing, consider the fund's investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses. 6. And guys would be like, "Oh, do I say anything right now? That kind of thing. This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Use the links below to view the videos available on each topic: In an era of rampant narcissism, Dr. Ramanis third book, Dont You Know Who I Am? provides an insightful look into narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder. They maybe don't want to hear about it. But all the while they're getting more and more confused, more and more isolated, more and more helpless. That's why these relationships feel really transactional, so that goes to entitlement. free lookups / month. You live in your parents" A lot of the time these people are successful, but just as much of the time they ain't sh*t to put it as we would've said back when I was growing up. So now, you're waiting for the text. It's based on a true story. So like if I put a tomato in front of you, Jordan, you wouldn't say that's salsa. Maybe, I'm being extra, Maybe, I'm expecting too much from a relationship." All rights reserved. Clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, and author, Durvasula is best known for her book You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life (Skirt!, 2013) and is currently promoting her latest book, Should I Stay or Should I Go? Ramani Durvasula is Professor What is Ramani Durvasula's personal email address? [00:59:21] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: It attracts it, and so where I take umbrage at some of the folks on social media, I think a lot of it is harmless. Another one is projection. I just thought, "Oh, he's kind of a" You know, I never put it together, and one of the reasons was because he wasn't somebody who would yell at somebody, "Do you know who I am?" We have to tread lightly. Just visit jordanharbinger.com/start or search for us in your Spotify app to get started. They just didn't have the guts to be as awful as the people on TV until they saw that it was being rewarded. at Ramani Durvasula Co-Host and Psychologist - My Shopping Addiction @ Dr. Ramani Mental health and media commentator United States Ranked #973 out of 19,460 for Co-Host and Psychologist - My Shopping Addiction in United States Ramani Durvasula's Email Addresses & Phone Numbers r**** a@gmail.com Personal Email (***) ***-*328 Phone number So that's why I think people saying, "Oh, I'm going to intervene." DISCOVERY AND APPEAL RIGHTS MAY ALSO BE LIMITED IN ARBITRATION. Privacy Policy. Join now Sign in . All the, I mean, I saw it many times firsthand because I've lived with him for a while. I think it's such an important topic. Even though everyone else is jumping, I don't feel good about this." Any user who voluntarily signs up for more information or who purchases a product, service or program through the Website, is agreeing to both the terms of this Agreement and the accompanying Terms and Conditions of Purchase where applicable with respect to such product, service or program. Psychologist, Author, Consultant @ LUNA ET&C, Co-Host and Psychologist - My Shopping Addiction @ Dr. Ramani. ETFs are subject to risks similar to those of stocks. 5151 State University Drive, Csula - King Hall, Los Angeles. Invesco Distributors, Inc. [00:45:50] Thank you so much for listening to and supporting the show. There was a part of me where I was like, "Well, maybe I should just do that because it'll make dating easier because look at all my female friends." You need the whole thing. Dissociation refers to a sense of disconnect from yourself, your surroundings, and your external experiences. The greatest compliment you can give us is to share the show with those you care about. So there's a draw. [00:54:44] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You know, they're not awful people. [00:54:25] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So that person who is the little bit of a diva when they're in line. So people are on this really exciting ride and what narcissistic people are so really good at is they'll excite, fun, charm, charisma, and then, they withdraw. When expanded it provides a list of search options that will switch the search inputs to match the current selection. Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani on Apple Podcasts. Find accurate personal and work emails for over 250M professionals. It's a really, really, again, devious trick because also the person the narcissist is meeting is often quite empathic, so they don't want to just burn a bridge. This poor person is getting beaten by their" But when somebody comes in and is just emotionally traumatized, we kind of don't know what to do. Any election to arbitrate, at any time, shall be final and binding on the other party. The police are going to get called. at And if that was impossible, try to go low contact as much as possible. [00:35:15] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Getting an accolade, getting an honor, getting an award, having a ton of money, you know, that sort of thing, that stuff goes a long way to helping prop up that fragile ego, that poorly developed sense of self. I shouldn't have done that." Dismiss. And how can we defend ourselves against them when necessary? Making remote or global hires? | Feedback Friday, 743: Dr. Ramani | How to Protect Yourself from a Narcissist Part Two >, 804: Beaus Bad Bets Bust Beloveds Bank | Feedback Friday, 803: Martin Seligman | Flourishing in an Uncertain Future, 802: Michael Santos | Conquering a 45-Year Prison Term, 800: Can Therapy Wreck a Background Check? Simply email them to Assistant@DoctorRamani.com, and then your email will be forwarded along to Dr. Ramani. Like, you know, again, to me, humility is the ultimate show of confidence because you must really know you got the goods because you don't need to scream them from the rooftop. Catch up starting with episode 673: Ken Croke | Undercover in an Outlaw Biker Gang Part One here! It's held in the body, so people will say like, "I feel this physically," and so now the therapies for that are much more focused on the person's body and that connection with their mind. I'm so sorry. [00:18:04] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: We absolutely treat it differently. But the other group of jerk finders are people who may be working through these trauma-bonded cycles. [00:20:57] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: That exposure over time, and it can often be also coupled with physical or sexual abuse or other forms of abuse, the exposure to long-term trauma, usually in a relational space, for example, domestic violence, childhood abuse, which is inescapable. Their self-esteem is constantly shaped by what's happening around them, which is why a narcissistic person may be in a great mood in the morning because they got a lot of likes on their picture. That's what's awesome about Zapier. But in general, you're not going to, all of a sudden a person's not going to switch and have a different personality. EMAIL. [00:51:08] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You know, they do, I would say the vast majority of relational cheaters are narcissists. Zapier works with over 4,000 popular apps to automate almost any workflow imaginable. I think most of it, it's vapid, emotionally stunted. One thing we do know about narcissistic folks is they're really out of touch with what motivates their behavior. I never get a fair shake. Opt-In To Email Lists or Waiting Lists: To provide you with information on the Company, Courses or Products in question and the topic(s) or subject matter in general. Please leave us a review here, Discover the possibilities at invesco.com/etfsolutions, Try Zapier for free today at zapier.com/jordan, Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/jordan, Catch up starting with episode 673: Ken Croke | Undercover in an Outlaw Biker Gang Part One here, Dont You Know Who I Am?: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility by Ramani S. Durvasula, Ph.D | Amazon, Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms and Causes | Mayo Clinic, How #MeToo Exposed the Hidden World of Narcissistic Abuse | The Calda Clinic, The Internet Is a Narcissists Paradise | Psychology Today, When Protecting Other People from the Narcissist Makes You Look Unstable | Dr. Ramani, The Pathological Narcissist and Co-Narcissist Convoluted Dance | Narcissistic Behavior, The Role of Habituation in Narcissistic Relationships | Dr. Ramani, How to Recognize and Break Traumatic Bonds | Healthline, How to Recognize Coercive Control | Healthline, Understanding Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder | Healthline, Narcissism Linked to Aggression in Review of 437 Studies | Ohio State News, The Concept of Narcissistic Supply | Psychology Today, Love Bombing: What It Is and Signs to Look For In a Partner | The New York Times, Eight Common Post-Separation Domestic Abuse Tactics | Domestic Shelters, Educating the Disagreeable Extravert: Narcissism, the Big Five Personality Traits, and Achievement Goal Orientation | International Journal of Teaching and Learning in Higher Education, Eight Signs Youre Dealing With A Vulnerable Narcissist | Mindbodygreen, The Undetectable Way Vulnerable Narcissists Love Bomb | Dr. Ramani, Sometimes I Treat People Badly. We all do it sometimes, right? Sign up for a free account. Company reserves the right to amend these Terms at any time. You know, like sacrebleu, they have to wait in line at the airport kind of thing. | Dr. Ramani, 10 Surprising Ways to Spot a Narcissist on Social Media | Psychology Today, < 741: Is Marriage Impaired by Emotional Affairs? 500 Likes, 69 Comments - Dr. Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) on Instagram: "Unfortunately most of us have worked for a narcissist. You have the right to control your personal data. It's also much more affordable than in-person therapy without sacrificing the quality of care. They're vomiting on you and you're getting in, you're in the splash zone. You agree that in the event that you have any right, claim or action against any User arising out of that Users use of the Website, then you will pursue such right, claim or action independently of and without recourse to us. Should Company seek to make such an amendment and we (in our sole discretion) consider the amendment to be material in nature, we shall clearly publish on the home page a notice that an amendment is being made. But if you're dating them or they're your brother or something like that, that's almost like the price of entry to staying in this relationship is you are on the hook for managing their mood by validating them constantly. All in one very searchable, mobile-friendly place. However, your email may be read and responded to by her assistant. In the population as a whole, what has changed in about the last 25 years is the ways people can sort of exert this narcissistic instinct, and that really played out with things like social media, reality television, sort of the democratization of celebrity. I'm Jordan Harbinger. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio as a dashing young con artist named Frank Abagnale and Tom Hanks as an FBI agent who relentlessly hunted him down. [01:03:47] I mean, you know, people think that these are just a bunch of morons running around partying, and they're not. well as phone numbers accurately with THIS IS A BINDING AGREEMENT. [00:30:57] Jordan Harbinger: You know, they had personal input on that. They're going to say, "Did they touch you?" disclaimer: this information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. [00:42:27] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Because if they were going to be super honest about it, that's pretty dark. It's very much a sit here and wait for my validation. [00:59:32] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Immature, like it's just not fully formed. ", [00:52:38] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: "Nothing's ever fair to me." They expect everyone to serve that need. [00:48:55] Jordan Harbinger: That was it. And also narcissistic supply, what a great term. You need the entitlement. [00:13:41] Jordan Harbinger: Yeah, okay. Overview Insurance Ratings. California State University, Los Angeles, Professor at California State University, Los Angeles Now, they're full of rage. You need the validation seeking. [00:54:52] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: And they get things done. I'm so much". Dr. Ramani S Durvasula is a Los Angeles, California based psychologist who is specialized in Clinical Psychology. But it turns out Frank Abagnale's entire life story is actually just kind of a lie, and it might be the greatest con that Abagnale actually pulled. Search over 700 NEITHER WE NOR ANY OTHER INDEMNIFIED PARTY IS RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR ANY INCOMPATIBILITY BETWEEN THE WEBSITE AND ANY WEBSITE, SERVICE, SOFTWARE OR HARDWARE, OR ANY DELAY OR FAILURE YOU MAY EXPERIENCE WITH ANY TRANSMISSION OR TRANSACTION RELATED TO THE WEBSITE. Some of these questions hold more weight than the others when it comes to diagnostic or pathological narcissism. I mean, one great study that was done last year by some folks at Ohio State, I think they did what's called a meta-analysis, or in a study of studies, about 475 odd studies across the board, narcissism was associated with aggression and violence. So if you're just going to stand in line" "Okay, so, you know, I wouldn't want to date you if that's your attitude. So when you see the new mother who's perfectly svelte and her makeup is done and her house is clean, "Hi, bitch, I want to take you out." [01:01:26] Jordan Harbinger: That actually makes a lot of sense. [00:54:17] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Central ingredient for sure. And then you throw other social issues on top of that, like income inequality. Like again, it's not just the tomato. It's very victimized, sullen, resentful. [00:53:38] Excessive reference to others for self-esteem, constantly comparing yourself to others, the sense of entitlement, the thing is though, with a lot of these narcissistic traits, celebrities and executives, they have a little bit of entitlement a lot of the time. California is actually right now, the only state in the United States that formally recognizes coercive control in the family court statute. I couldn't articulate, but I thought, that sounds hard for me to do. [00:57:35] So I get that question from people all the time. 1821 S Bascom Ave #174 Like this show? Okay. Because it seems like Instagram is the perfect magnet for this. [00:26:37] I think you wrote it in the book, you'd said something along the lines of, "We think a bruised face requires intervention, but a bruised soul does not." I can manipulate this person. We are located in the United States. [00:19:32] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: That's just drama. [00:54:15] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You'd be like, that's a tomato, right? [00:59:01] Jordan Harbinger: The superficial Instagram life is quite interesting. They're not cultivating healthy relationships. That's our original conception of trauma. [00:34:35] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: or they got good news from work. at And then when they finally do come back, you're so relieved that you almost put up with more of their stuff. That's the insecurity. Ramani Durvasula Emerita Professor of Psychology; Ph.D., UCLA Contact: (323) 343-5872 E-mail: [email protected] Health psychology; HIV/AIDS; Neuropsychology; . And we have these rose-colored glasses on and they're charming us through the red flags probably initially. Nothing ever works out for me. I'm going through one right now, and I've found that when I'm in problem-solving mode, it really helps me focus on the action to solve it instead of focusing on the problem at hand. It would seem to me that the people who are going to email me, overly concerned that they're a narcissist and need to apologize to everyone in their life after hearing this are exactly the type of people who are not narcissists, right? Their brain is sort of doing what their brain's doing. You'll date girls you don't even like for months at a time." I thought we just almost made it to the restaurant. Because the wounds that folks carry from these relationships that are unseen because they're not physical are profound. You're like, "Huh?" It makes sense. [01:00:33] So I think a lot of Instagram is just incredible immaturity. in Psychology from the University of Connecticut and her MA and Ph.D. degrees in Clinical Psychology at UCLA. This is like the opposite of moving the ball forward. Well, that can happen with narcissism as well. Blizzard Entertainment, Jay Shetty is a Storyteller, Podcaster & Former Monk [00:49:46] Jordan Harbinger: That's interesting. No credit card required. Like, this seems like their game. It seems perfect on the outside, but on the inside, it's like a VH1 behind the music expose, right? Pursuant to the California Online Privacy Protection Act, we hereby disclose that we do not currently honor do not track signals issued by browsers or other third-party sources. NPI details are as mentioned below. Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist (Post Hill Press, 2015). [00:28:07] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So I'm going, to be frank with you. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is one of the world-leading experts on narcissism. Dr. Somebody just puts our groceries on our step. Transactions: You name, email address, billing information and payment source. No credit card required. Lifetime Brands, Dean & Professor at Fairfield University We have the right, but not the obligation, to review and remove any activity or content involving you or your account. No additional charge. [01:03:26] Ken Croke: Everyone was saying, hey, motorcycle enthusiast bikers are all bad. I'm sure there's more to it than exhausting, but exhausting and thankless probably in many ways. All amendments to the Terms shall be forward-looking. And so that's an interesting thing to think about and kind of, well, it's also really sad. million verified professionals across 35 million companies. (business & personal). Now, with a narcissistic person, this is consistently who they are. We reserve the right to employ separate counsel and assume the exclusive defense and control of the settlement and disposition of any claim that is subject to indemnification by you. But if they really have all that other stuff too, yes, they want that validation and all that other stuff, that's when we're talking about narcissism. [00:20:18] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So complex post-traumatic stress disorder or complex post-trauma is sort of a development of our thinking on trauma. by MedCircle | Jan 5, 2023 | Dissociative Disorders. That all put together gets us away from the idea of the person who is, I don't know, just so fancy that they don't have to wait in line.